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 ► / Saturday, May 03, 2008 @ 2:10 PM
I don't think I can cope with my life anymore. I've failed my own objective for my existence in this world.

God, what should I do now ?

Somebody, help me.

Please, this is not a joke. This is not the Syaifullah you once knew. The one you knew of is always happy, over enthusiastic, dramatic and amazing. This is definitely a different side of me. And no, I'm not being emo. People who know me well enough would know, I dont get emo. If you think this is emo, then hell yeah, this means that there's really something very wrong going on with me.

This is the side of me, which I didnt even know I had.

Just so you know,

1) I'm having problems with Crystal.
2) I'm not doing well for my studies.
3) I'm too fucked up to even study or concentrate well.
4) I was just smacked by my dad each time after he finished shouting a sentence during his scoldings.
5) I'm pissed off with my mum for triggering that scolding event, and yet, could even sit down, enjoying me getting hit by my dad AND could also pour more oil to make my dad hit harder with more force.
6) I'm very disturbed over the fact that my parents twist and turn everything so that everything appears to be my fault and from positivity turning to negativity.
7) I'm feeling weird now, as if I've been inflicted with some disease.
8) And lastly, the worse thing is this. All I can do now, is to sit still, and cry for help helplessly. I can't do anything to save myself from my depressing life. I'm after all, only human.

Thanq Eugene bro, Syazwani, Jia Li, Hannah banana, Yvonne, Kendra and Lyana yahoo bachen for the comforting (or other forms of cheering me up) so far. Ily all.