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 ► / Wednesday, August 27, 2008 @ 8:36 PM
} 100th Post, but all to rue.

I'm lost now
Not knowing where to go
I'm weak now
I need you to lean on

And you tell me to, go away
And you say you'd bring me happiness
And you tell me, everything will be alright
You dont know, when you're not there, I tear

So I run and I run and I run

How can I sleep ?
Without you next to me
How can I see ?
Knowing you're not here with me
How can I try ?
Without you ...
Without you, by my side
How can I ?
How, ... how can I ?

I'm lost now
Not knowing where to go
You're weak now
And I'm leaving, so please move on

...

Guess I should cheer up ? But, how could I ?

I'm trying so hard to do well in my studies, particularly to excel, but I'm just not getting there. Chemistry, even you, my best subject of them all, I cant seem to get a distinction in. What is this ?

POA, you sicken me. I'd given up on you momentarily because now, I'm concentrating on those I could do better in, even though you're easier for me to get a distinction in. This, makes me very uncertain and dumbfounded.

Bros, you know who you are. The ones I'm having problems with, the ones I'm having doubts in, and, the ones I've recently shunned.

They're my bros, I get that. But why am I feeling as if my heart's not at peace, even with them ? Maybe I really shouldnt make a big deal out of this. Because, they'd been there for me nevertheless, inclusive of my clique.

Eugene, you still hate me ? I guess, you still do. However, that prohibited moment when you were staring towards my direction, less than 20cm apart, yesterday, pleased me. I know, you wouldnt want to talk to me, and instead, you were talking to someone directly behind me. Supposedly, it was involuntary for you to do that. Alas, ...

I've been trying to eat, really have. I want get fat. I've been trying to make me pee more, but why arent I ? Instead, I'm just getting more and more osseous. Moreover, more and more penurious as well.

Tomorrow, maybe I really need to spend some time with them, namely Swe Lwin, Fazli and perhaps Alios, but I just dont know. Thus, thanks for the offer Swe Lwin (and you're not fat). [:

A movie tomorrow and spending time with you might be the only thing I look up to since that dramatic decline in my self esteem since forever.

OKAY I'M HAPPY. I just need to not take everything which means a lot to me for granted, then I'll be just fine. [:

... for now.